Most of our conflicts, disappointments, and frustrations boil down to one simple thing - 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬. We want them to think like us, feel like us, behave like us… and when they don’t, it feels 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈. Think about it— You text someone, and they don’t reply as fast as you’d like. Annoying, right? Your thought is “𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡” You expect your sibling/friend to be as excited about your success as you ar

We spend years, sometimes a lifetime, taking inventory of a relationship. We catalogue what the other person is. Their kindness. Their steadiness. Their humor. We also catalogue, with a quiet and growing weight, what they are not. They are not adventurous. They are not emotionally expressive. They are not a partner in the particular dream we hold. We understand, on a rational level, that they are being authentic. This is who they are. They cannot fundamentally change, and it

Most criticism stings because it attacks a person's identity. It does not describe an action. It applies a label. Lazy. Selfish. Cold. Irresponsible. Uncaring. These words land like arrows because they seem to define the very core of who someone is. And when a person feels their identity is under attack, their only instinct is to defend. They raise shields. They counterattack. They shut down. The conversation dies, and the problem remains untouched. But there is another way.

We fall into the fairness trap when we are on the losing end of a bargain. We feel a sharp, personal sting when our hard work goes unnoticed, when our honesty is met with deception, when our good faith is met with betrayal. In that moment, we make a declaration: "The world is unfair." We expect a balanced equation where effort yields reward and virtue meets justice. When the balance tips against us, we feel a profound sense of injustice, a cosmic letdown. But the world is nei

We often get paralyzed when we have to make decisions. What is the best option for me? What if I make a wrong decision? These thoughts stop us from making decisions from the mundane to the vital ones. We suffer from decision paralysis and often postpone decision-making itself. Not making a decision is also a decision and there can be a cost for it. This is something we don’t realize. We erroneously believe not making a decision is playing safe. There could be a price to pay f

When someone puts money into buying the shares of a company, they generally have the idea of a stop loss in their head. If I have bought something for Rs 100/- I will sell it for a loss also if it goes below 80 because I don’t want to suffer a bigger loss. I can bear a Rs 20/- loss but not more than that. The stop-loss level decided by me saves me from greater pain. It is the pain point at which I am willing to accept my losses and move on. In the same way, I can have a time-

The report card arrives. It is a piece of paper, a collection of letters and numbers. Yet, in many homes, it becomes a trigger for an explosion. A parent scans the grades, their eyes locking on the low marks. Their stomach tightens. Disappointment rises, fast and hot, followed by a lecture, a berating, a slanging match. The child shrinks, defends, or explodes back. The paper is no longer a report; it is a verdict. On the child’s effort, and silently, on the parent’s worth. In

"𝑀𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟-𝑖𝑛-𝑙𝑎𝑤 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙. 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒. 𝑁𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑓𝑖𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦. 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙 𝑚𝑒. 𝑁𝑜𝑤 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛, 𝑦𝑒𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑜𝑠𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑛𝑒𝑔𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑎𝑛

Two similar incidents happened recently showing me how to avoid forgetting some jobs. On day 1, my nephew called me up after leaving home to say that he had forgotten his reading glasses and could I get it for him as I was following him to the office an hour later. I assured him, I would get it and halfway through my shaving, I went to his room picked up his glasses and put it into my bag and then continued my shaving. Mission accomplished. On another day of the same week, he

Often we have to give money to our dependents such as spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends etc. How should we give it? Whether we acknowledge it or not, money is associated with a lot of emotions. Money coveys power, authority, dependency, ownership, subordination depending on which side of the giving-taking you are. Giving and taking the money can be a minefield in a relationship even if the exchange is legitimate. Giving and taking goods/things do not carry the same

A child does not learn what is right. A child learns what is normal. And for a child, normal is a simple thing. It is what happens at home. It is the background rhythm of their days, the unspoken rules that govern the people they trust most. They are silent, constant observers, and every action they see is a lesson in what the world is and how one should behave in it. When a parent interrupts another person while they are talking, the child learns that this is normal. They le

There is a misery that has a clear address. It lives in the body that is failing, in the bank account that is empty, in the home that is unsafe. This misery is made of real circumstances, of tangible hardship and undeniable pain. It is the misery of a difficult reality, a situation that causes genuine suffering. This kind of misery demands a real-world solution. It requires a doctor, a new source of income, a courageous escape, and a practical change. To heal this misery, we

Recently concluded a workshop on Guilt, where we talked about how to shield yourselves when people try to make you feel guilty. Conversation can sometimes feel like a walk through a hidden thicket. You are moving along, sharing words, and suddenly you feel the sharp sting of a barb. It is a comment designed not to communicate, but to wound. It is meant to make you feel guilty, to make you feel small, to make you feel lousy. "𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒 �

We’ve all been there. Someone drops a seemingly innocent comment that instantly makes your blood boil. Maybe it’s a backhanded compliment, a guilt trip, or outright sarcasm—whatever the form, their words are designed to get a reaction out of you. The truth? They’re baiting you. And the moment you take it, you’ve handed them control over your emotions. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘀 (𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺) 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐩 "If you’re too la

These days, words like narcissist, toxic, gaslighting, and depression are thrown around casually in everyday conversations. While mental health awareness is a positive shift, the overuse and misuse of these clinical terms can do more harm than good. 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗟𝗮𝗯𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗟𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗠𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 **If someone lies or acts selfishly, they’re instantly branded a narcissist—but true Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a complex, diagnosed condition, not just bad behaviour.

We’ve all heard it a million times: "Just think positive!" But here’s the truth—positive thinking alone won’t transform your life. Optimistic thoughts are just the starting point; optimistic actions are what create real change. 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝘃𝘀. 𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿: 𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘀 Imagine two people stuck in Bengaluru traffic: Person A thinks, "Ugh, this is ruining my day!" and hopes (with optimism that the traffic will somehow disappear), but does nothing to

We love closure. We crave it. We’re wired to seek resolution, to tie up loose ends, to make sense of the mess, to hear the villain apologise or the lost love explain why they left. But life isn’t a movie. Most of our stories don’t end with a neatly wrapped bow. Someone drifts away without explanation. A job disappears without warning. A hurt goes unacknowledged, a betrayal unanswered. And we’re left standing there, holding a question mark, waiting for an ending that never com

We are taught, from the very beginning, to sort our feelings into neat, orderly boxes. This is joy. That is sorrow. This is love. That is anger. We are given an emotional map that insists a single road can only lead to one destination. But the heart is not a cartographer; it is a wild and untamed landscape where weather systems collide. To love someone who hurt you is not a paradox. It is a testament to the profound complexity of your own spirit. You can miss the home you fle

We are sold a story of perfect connections. The soulmate who anticipates our every need. The parent whose love is an unwavering sun. The friend whose loyalty never buckles. We are told to hold out for this, to settle for nothing less than the sublime. It is a beautiful story. And for most of us, it is a fiction that leaves us lonely. The truth is, the architecture of most human connections is built with cracks. Cracks are a feature, not a bug and like the Cohen song says, '𝑻

When someone we love is in pain, it’s natural to feel it ourselves. A child comes home upset because a friend was unkind, and our first thought is, “𝑰’𝒍𝒍 𝒈𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅, 𝒐𝒓 𝑰’𝒍𝒍 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒓.” When an adult we care for is struggling, we want to step in, take charge, and fix it. That instinct comes from love. But sometimes, without realising it, love crosses into enmeshment. Their problems start to feel like our own.