There are many times in our lives when we have to make a critical decision - quit a job, take an unknown opportunity, move out of a relationship, try a new cuisine etc. We are not sure of the outcome if we take a call to make the change. At that time a good question to ask ourselves is, “What will I lose if I do this?” It brings into perspective what we have that we won’t have if we make the decision. “I want to move out of this relationship,” she said hesitantly. “What is st

Enhancing our emotional intelligence (EI) is vital for both our personal and professional growth. It involves mastering the skill of recognizing and managing our own emotions, as well as empathizing with others. By developing our EI, we can create stronger relationships, improve communication, and enhance our overall well-being. To jump-start your journey towards emotional intelligence, here are five actionable ideas you can implement today: 𝟏. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐨�

There is a delicate balance between caring for your loved ones and smothering them with overprotection. Can excessive care and protection cross the line into abuse? Imagine a child, whose mother is overly protective. Initially, it appears heartwarming, but it soon becomes stifling. The child’s life is tightly controlled by their mother, who constantly scrutinizes their actions and decisions. This overbearing behaviour stifles the child’s independence and autonomy. True caring

“I want my son to take up a course/profession that other are not. I want him to be an independent thinker not be influenced by what others do” “Sure, That looks a good strategy. You want him to pick an education stream not being followed by most people” “Yes. I want him to follow the road less travelled and not be influenced by what others are doing” “That seems great. But how will he know which is the path less travelled unless he observes what path others are taking?” “He c

“How many times should I ask you to finish dinner. Then I can clear the table” 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐬 “If you have dinner now, I can clear the table. If you want to eat later, you should clear the table. Which do you prefer?” “Have a bath now, there is water in the geyser” 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐬 “If you have a bath now, you don’t have to switch on the geyser, if you want to have a bath later, you have to switch the geyser on and also switch it off. What is your choice?” ‘Talk to your mom now, yo

“I wish I had not married at that time; it was a foolish decision” “I wish I had gone abroad for studies; my life would have been different” “Why did I bring kids into the marriage. I should have known better” “I was an idiot to quit my job to raise a family. Don’t feel good about it today” When people look back in their lives, there is always a graveyard of regrets. Multiple regrets on studies, career, relationship, money, hobbies etc., buried in their memories. Regret for t

Time blindness is a term that is sometimes heard with people with ADHD. All ADHD people don’t have it and all who have it are not ADHD persons. Having said that time blindness can hit a lot of people around us. People who have time blindness measure time in a different way than most people. They are aware of time but not with the sensitivity of other people. Here are some ways we can be time blind: *Difficult to estimate the time for a given work. *Get so absorbed in what we

"Why can’t my husband be more organized? Why can’t he keep things in place? Why can’t he keep his desk and cupboard organized? Won’t it make it easier for him and others around him?” “True that would be of big help. What does he criticize you for?” “He gets irritated with the amount of time, I take to get ready. He finds it frustrating that I cannot estimate my time to complete a task. He gets frustrated with my ability to read maps” “Are you doing it deliberately?” “No, I am

When someone puts money into buying the shares of a company, they generally have the idea of a stop loss in their head. If I have bought something for Rs 100/- I will sell it for a loss also if it goes below 80 because I don’t want to suffer a bigger loss. I can bear a Rs 20/- loss but not more than that. The stop-loss level decided by me saves me from greater pain. It is the pain point at which I am willing to accept my losses and move on. In the same way, I can have a time-

The report card arrives. It is a piece of paper, a collection of letters and numbers. Yet, in many homes, it becomes a trigger for an explosion. A parent scans the grades, their eyes locking on the low marks. Their stomach tightens. Disappointment rises, fast and hot, followed by a lecture, a berating, a slanging match. The child shrinks, defends, or explodes back. The paper is no longer a report; it is a verdict. On the child’s effort, and silently, on the parent’s worth. In

We turn to psychology for answers. We learn its powerful techniques from CBT, from mindfulness, from a dozen thoughtful modalities. We arm ourselves with cognitive reframing and behavioural plans. This is vital work. But this work can fail, and fail miserably, on a simple, non-negotiable condition: if the body does not support it. The mind does not float separately from the flesh. It is built upon it. We can marshal only so much willpower, only so much psychological fortitude

Our minds crave the simple answer. They love to sort the world into clear, clean boxes. Good or bad. Right or wrong. Success or failure. Friend or foe. This is binary thinking. It is a handy shortcut, a way to make sense of a complicated world without the exhausting work of true understanding. It feels efficient. It feels safe. But this binary thinking is a lie. It is a comforting, simple lie about a complex, messy reality. People are not simply good or bad. A person can be k

"𝑀𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟-𝑖𝑛-𝑙𝑎𝑤 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙. 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒. 𝑁𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑓𝑖𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦. 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙 𝑚𝑒. 𝑁𝑜𝑤 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑒𝑛, 𝑦𝑒𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑜𝑠𝑠 𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑛𝑒𝑔𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑎𝑛

Have you ever felt that subtle shift in a conversation? The hint that someone is trying to make you feel guilty, or belittle you, or quietly back out of a promise? You feel the manipulation, the withdrawal, the control, but you don't know what to say. So we talk in circles. We address the surface topic, the money, the chore, the forgotten plan, while the real, meta-behaviour goes unchallenged. What if you had a simple tool to cut through the noise? Instead of playing the game

Our days are filled with real problems. These are the problems that need our attention. A child who needs help with their studies. A budget that does not quite balance. A misunderstanding with a loved one that waits to be mended. A body that needs exercise and care. These problems are here. They are present. They ask for our time and our effort. But our mind has a different agenda. Our mind often wanders away from these real problems. It becomes obsessed with problems of its

Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself when you are idle. Listen to the daydreams that play like a private movie in your mind. These are not just random distractions. These fantasies are a secret language. They are the unspoken hunger of your psyche. If you find yourself constantly fantasising about rescuing people from a disaster, you may be hungry to be a hero. You may be longing for a sense of profound purpose and public recognition. You may feel that your daily ac

When a child acts out, our first instinct is often to correct. We lecture. We moralize. We berate. We operate from a curative mindset, one that sees the behaviour as a problem to be fixed, a wrong to be righted. And so often, it doesn’t work. We are left frustrated, they are left resentful, and the root of the behaviour remains untouched. What if we swapped that instinct? What if, before we corrected, we got curious? A curious mindset does not see a problem to be solved. It s

We repeat the phrase like a mantra: "𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛." We say it, we hear it, and we nod. We accept it as the whole truth. But it is only a partial truth. A more complete truth is that life is a blend of the certain and the uncertain. We simply forget to look at the certain half. Our past is certain. It is a finished story, for better or worse. The home we return to each evening is certain. The ground beneath our feet, the geography of our city, the rising of

· In the middle of a crisis, the mind plays a cruel trick. It whispers that this difficulty is all there is, and all there ever will be. A conflict at work feels like a career in ruins. A fight with a loved one feels like the end of the relationship. A financial setback feels like a lifelong sentence to scarcity. In our pain, we lose a vital perspective. We forget to ask a simple, grounding question: 𝐈𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧

Two similar incidents happened recently showing me how to avoid forgetting some jobs. On day 1, my nephew called me up after leaving home to say that he had forgotten his reading glasses and could I get it for him as I was following him to the office an hour later. I assured him, I would get it and halfway through my shaving, I went to his room picked up his glasses and put it into my bag and then continued my shaving. Mission accomplished. On another day of the same week, he