𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐋𝐮𝐱𝐮𝐫𝐲.

We are taught to flinch from the word. Selfishness. It is a label we are taught to avoid, an accusation that makes us shrink. We are told that to be good is to think of the tribe, to put the collective need above our own. This is true, but it is not the whole truth. There is another truth, one that is quieter but just as vital. We must also look after our own needs. The crucial work is in learning the distinction, in understanding the profound difference between what harms and what sustains.

Unhealthy selfishness is a closing of the circle. It is looking after your own needs alone, 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔. It is characterised by actions that hurt, by words that wound, by a deliberate neglect of the people around you. It takes without thought. It is a mansion built only for one.

But healthy selfishness is something else entirely. It is not a closing off but a building up. It is the conscious act of looking after your needs in ways that do not diminish others. It is a responsibility you carry for yourself. Consider your health. To choose exercise, to mind your diet, to attend to your body's needs. How does this harm anyone? This is your right. This is your domain. By tending to your own wellness, you ensure you do not become a burden. This is not selfishness in the ugly sense. This is self-care in its truest sense..

Your growth belongs to you. Joining a course, learning a skill, pursuing a hobby that ignites your spirit. These are paths only you can walk. Your growth does not interfere with another's life. It is a quiet dedication to becoming more. This, too, is healthy selfishness. It is a duty to your own potential.

Your happiness is your own to cultivate. The small joys found in a garden, in a book, in a conversation with a friend. The pursuit of freedom, financial or emotional. These things concern your life. Prioritising your well-being is essential, provided it doesn't come at the expense of others.

This practice of self-care is not an indulgence. It is not unhealthy selfishness. It is the deepest responsibility. It is a gift you give to yourself, and in doing so, you have more to offer the world. You give from a full cup, not an empty one.