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Learning to stay with an emotion

If you don’t like particular weather (cold, hot, rainy, humid etc.,) you have two choices: move to a place where the weather is different or just wait it out. Most of us cannot afford the first option. We cannot keep moving out of a place because of the weather. So we stay put and after a few days, the weather changes and all is well.

Internal weather

Doesn’t the same principle apply for our internal weather - our emotions? Sometimes we go through a feeling which does not make us comfortable. Feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety and their cousins leave us wanting to get out of that feeling. Those feelings are not empowering and sometimes we want to desperately shake them off.

Changing our environment sometimes helps. Moving out of the place and out of contact with people who are causing those distressful emotions is one solution. But again most times this is not affordable. The other alternative is to learn to stay with emotions. Unless the causes are deep-seated or chronic, most feelings are transitory. They last for a short period of time (from a few hours to two-three days). It is best to learn to stay with emotions. Let the distressful emotions be there. It is a part of being human. There is nothing wrong with those feelings. You don’t have to work hard to get rid of those feelings. The feelings are a reaction to what is happening in the environment around you or your thoughts. We don’t have to force those emotions away artificially by trying hard to cheer ourselves up.

Even this will pass

Allow them the centre stage for a short time and then they will go away. What is important is that we do not take any drastic decisions which are irreversible when the distressful emotions are in full bloom. Learning to stay with emotions is easier when you are conscious of your feelings as an observer. Knowing that the feeling will change after two-three days is a hope that is empowering.

Weather always changes after some time.

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