𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲’𝐬 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐬

Ever looked back at something you did years ago and thought, “𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝐼 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔?” Maybe it was staying in a job that drained you, holding onto a friendship that no longer served you, or even spending years chasing something you no longer care about.

It’s easy to be hard on yourself. But here’s the thing—𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞.

Think about it. Maybe five years ago, financial security was your top priority, so you stuck with a job that didn’t excite you. Now, you prioritise passion over stability, and suddenly, your old decision seems “𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠.” But back then, it made perfect sense.

Or maybe you were a people-pleaser in college, always saying “𝐲𝐞𝐬” to keep the peace. Now, you value boundaries, and your past self feels naïve. But at that time, fitting in or maintaining harmony was what you needed.

Just like you wouldn’t scold a child for making choices appropriate for their age, don’t scold your past self. You were doing the best you could with the information, emotions, and circumstances you had.

Life is a journey, and our needs evolve. What worked then, even if it seems silly or less than ideal now, served a purpose. Maybe you were trying to fit in, or you were scared, or you just didn’t know any better. 𝐆𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬. Instead of being self-critical, try gratitude—thank your past self for getting you here. Instead of being hard on yourself, try to be understanding. That past version of you was doing their best with what they had. Acknowledge that you've grown and learned. It's like how we learn to make the perfect 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒊 over time; you don't berate yourself for the first few weak cups, right? You just keep practising.

So the next time you catch yourself cringing at an old decision, pause. Instead of, “𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅’𝒗𝒆 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓,” say, “𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰.”

Be kind to the person you were, just as you are kind to the person you’re becoming.