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Staying out of other people’s arguments

The two brothers were having an argument on how to handle some issue. The wife of one of them could not resist the temptation and jumped into the argument. Instead of helping to resolve the issue, the arguments went off a tangent and descended into a shouting match about all unrelated issues.

The two girls were sitting in the balcony and having an argument about marriages. The father of one of the girls who was in the next room hearing the arguments joined them and began to side with this daughter’s friend’s side. After he left the room when the argument became intense her friend said,

“Your dad had been overhearing our talk. Does this happen in your house?”

“Oh, he always does that. He has to express his opinion about everything to everyone”

“Although he sided with my argument, I did not like it that he joined us at all. This should have been between us”

Many of us have got into trouble by poking our noses into issues that should not concern us in the first place. Why is it so difficult to listen to two people arguing in the house without ourselves stepping in? This includes children. If two of your children are having an argument why not let them sort it out themselves. Many of their arguments, they can settle it themselves without adult interference. We can intervene only when it is going nasty, ugly or there is a physical danger to one of them.

The same thing applies to two adults having an argument. Unless we are invited, or absolutely essential, it is good to just listen to people and allow them to sort out their issues. This applies doubly to arguments between married people. If a husband and wife are having an argument and if you are around, either give them the privacy to have their arguments by moving out for some time and if that is not possible, just listen without butting in unless asked for. When a married couple is having an argument, the surface issues hide a lot of other layered issues which a bystander will not understand.

Most adults and children can settle their arguments by themselves. Third-person intervening just complicates matter most of the time.

It is good to acknowledge that we are not always wiser, more intelligent or more mature than others.

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