There are many emotional and psychological tools that parents use to goad their children to do things that the parents want. All with good intention. But some of the tools that they use may often backfire on them.
I have seen, heard parents mock and insult their children thinking that it will get the child angry and do what the parents want them to do.
“You are incapable of learning something new”
“You and learning music? Not in this janma”
“You want to be a model? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?”
“You want to be a Neurosurgeon? I don’t think there is a course on mobile phone for that”
Children are more sensitive to criticism as they take the words of adults around them seriously. They do get mocked in the outside world by their peers, outsiders from their looks, colour of skin, hair, intelligence, habits and everything else. Do they need mocking inside the house? While some parents may think of mockery as humor the child may not feel so. When the mockery is relentless, it hits the self-esteem of the child. After a point of time children become attuned to the mocking and shut out the adult from their life mentally. They begin to see the adult as someone who does not believe in them thus creating the divide between the parent and the child.
Many adults even as they are in their 50s and 60s can easily recall the insults and mockery they faced from their parents though it happened decades ago. Those words can still ring in their ears. It does not make them feel good.
Progress happens much better from a safe and secure environment. Stress beyond a point just breaks a person. It does not make them stronger. Challenging children in a positive way will help the children achieve the goals and bond better with the adults around them.