𝐈𝐟 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝

Most of our conflicts, disappointments, and frustrations boil down to one simple thing - 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

We want them to think like us, feel like us, behave like us… and when they don’t, it feels 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈.

Think about it—

You text someone, and they don’t reply as fast as you’d like. Annoying, right? Your thought is “𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑑𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡”

You expect your sibling/friend to be as excited about your success as you are, but they give a half-hearted “That’s nice.” Disappointing. Your thought is, “𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑒𝑥𝑐𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡”

You assume your partner will understand why you’re upset without you explaining. They don’t. Now you're really upset. Your thought, “𝐼 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦?”

It’s like we carry this invisible rulebook: 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒂𝒄𝒕. But the thing is, no one else is reading our rulebook.

And honestly? We’re doing the same thing to them. Someone somewhere is frustrated because we didn’t act the way they expected.

So, what do we do? Lower our expectations? Not really. Instead, let’s shift them. Expect people to be who they are instead of who we want them to be. Give up the notion that others should think, feel and behave like I would do. Life gets lighter when you stop needing others to think, feel, or react exactly like you do. You accept them, and strangely enough, you feel more accepted too.

Next time someone does something that frustrates you, pause and ask: 𝑨𝒎 𝑰 𝒖𝒑𝒔𝒆𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚’𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈? 𝑶𝒓 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚’𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆?

Big difference. Big peace.