Every time the couple had a fight, one of them would suggest taking a travel trip. “Let us spend time together in a faraway place”, “Maybe we need the ‘we’ time”, “A change of scene will make us feel good’ are some of the arguments that run.
It is great to take a holiday, rest, rejuvenate and reconnect. It is wonderful to see new places and the experience will live with us as a wonderful memory for a very long time. For some couples, a temporary respite from daily arguments may be a relief. For many other couples, it makes no difference. If the divide is deep, the vacation does not bridge the chasm. If they continue with the resentment on the trip if they continue to have arguments and fights nothing changes. The scenery has changed but the dialogue remains the same. The vacation adds to one more bad memory to the relationship. Even if it is the most scenic of places, they will never want to go back there again. If two people are going on a vacation to get away from old issues, then there should be a pact that they will enjoy the vacation without bringing up the old issues. Or a greater maturity would be to discuss the issue threadbare in a civil manner and come to some agreement. Being away from other influences like children or parents and in-laws may help. What the pair do on the vacation becomes crucial to whether they come back from the holiday peaceful and wiser.
The quality of relationships changes when behaviour changes. Even one person making the change will alter the nature of the relationship. If one person starts responding to hot button topics in a consciously different manner, the dynamics of the relationship will change as the other person is forced to change too (Hopefully ) To change behaviour in the ‘heated moment’ requires a great level of self-awareness, self-control and the deep desire to bring in the change.
While a journey to a new place might give a new setting, a thrilling experience and great memories, it is finally the journey inwards that brings about lasting change. On occasions when the two journeys merge, it is a different trip!