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โ€œ๐–๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ˆ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž?โ€ - ๐€ ๐ ๐จ๐จ๐ ๐๐ž๐œ๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ฆ๐š๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐จ๐จ๐ฅ.



There are many times in our lives when we have to make a critical decision - quit a job, take an unknown opportunity, move out of a relationship, try a new cuisine etc. We are not sure of the outcome if we take a call to make the change. At that time a good question to ask ourselves is, โ€œWhat will I lose if I do this?โ€

It brings into perspective what we have that we wonโ€™t have if we make the decision.

โ€œI want to move out of this relationship,โ€ she said hesitantly.

โ€œWhat is stopping you?โ€ I asked

โ€œI am not sure of my decisionโ€ she replied.

โ€œWhat are you getting in the relationship that wonโ€™t be there if you move out?โ€ I queried.

She went into an introspective mode.

โ€œIs there financial security in the relationship?โ€

โ€œNo, I am okay with my finances. I can handle that on my own.โ€

โ€œIs there companionship, that you are going to miss?โ€

โ€œLack of companionship is the reason for me thinking of moving outโ€ she emphasized.

"Is there a sense of security for you in being married?

"I am long past that" she sighed.

โ€œSo what are you getting in the relationship that you will not get if you move out?โ€ I repeated the question.

โ€œActually I donโ€™t think I will miss any part of this relationship. There is nothing in it for me. There is no emotional connection, there is no friendship, there is no intimacy, there is no shared future but there are all the โ€˜dutiesโ€™ that I need to do as a wife as a daughter-in-law etcโ€

โ€œWhat will you get new if you move out?โ€

โ€œFreedom. Freedom from serving without appreciation, freedom to breathe, freedom to be not judged every minuteโ€ she intoned in relief.


We have a bias for not wanting to lose what we have if we make a risky move. We are wired to prevent losses to ourselves. In a conflicting situation where we are caught in a decision-making bind, asking what we will lose if we decide to change our lives and whether we can afford those losses will bring great clarity to the situation and show us a path.

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