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Identifying skill deficits in counselling clients



Most counselling work is in two parts. The first part deals with listening to the clients with complete attention, being

non-judgmental and empathetic to them. Quite a few counselling sessions end at the end of one or two such session where the client feels heard, respected and have voiced their concerns. They feel understood and hence empowered to deal with the issues of their lives.

For many other clients we go to the second part where they need help. The need guidance on how to solve some their lives issues. When a counsellors looks at it, she understands the the client is not able to solve their issues because there is a skill deficit. The client lacks in some skill in their life and hence struggling with certain issues. If they had this skill they would be able to handle things on their own. A counsellor who is trained in Life Skills and Emotional Intelligence will be quick to identify the skill deficit in the client and go ahead and teach the client those skills. What are the skills we are talking about? Here are some examples.


Boundaries: The client may be suffering because they have not learned the skill of Boundary Identification. They do not know where they end and others begin. Where their responsibilities end and others’ begins. How they should balance taking care of others and taking care of self.


Assertiveness: The client may not know how to tread the zone between becoming passive and aggressive by becoming more assertive and hence standing up for themselves.


Conflict Management: The client might have absorbed the conflict management style of their parents and not realize what worked for the previous generation will not work for the present.


Persuasion and Negotiation: The client may be getting frustrated that they are not able to convince people at work or home that the client’s ideas on varying issues may be more sound. They may not know how to negotiate a deal with the family member or a colleague.


Decision Making: The client may have made a series of decisions which have not yielded the desired result because they have been focusing on unimportant things rather than the significant factors the make a good decision.


Coping with Stress: In modern day life the client may not be able to avoid stress but one need not be overwhelmed by it affecting physical and mental health if one know how to cope with stress.


If the counsellor is also a Life Skills Trainer and an Emotional Intelligence Coach they can identify the skills deficit in the clients and empower them to solve their problems.


Our course Diploma in Life Skills and Emotional Intelligence starting from Feb 20 guides participants to understand all these and 15 other skills and how to use them in real life. If you are interested in joining message me for details.

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